I Dont Think He Has a Philosophy. Npd Again. :). But That Is a Persons Own Opinion.

Reviewed by: Ryan House, PsyD Clinical Psychologist

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is highly associated with verbal corruption, emotional abuse, psychological corruption, physical corruption, and/or domestic violence often suffered by those who are non-borderline.

Recent findings suggest  that further inquiry is necessary to improve sympathize the association and differentiation between psychological dysfunction and trauma processing, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal sensitivity of individuals diagnosed with BPD.

The propensity for abusiveness in those with BPD can be instigated past the egotistic injury that is at the centre of the cadre wound of abandonment.

Contents

• Deadline Personality and Abuse
• Intra-Psychic Pain Is the Root
  • Arroyo-Avoidance Conflict
  • A Wound of Abandonment Can Feel Like Psychological Expiry
• Borderline Rage
  • Bug That Trigger Rage
  • Different Expressions of Borderline Rage
  • Rage is Always Smouldering
• Emotional and Psychological Arrest
• Why Life Tin Seem Constantly Painful
  • Current Feelings Trigger Past Wounds
  • Lack of Object Constancy
  • Loss of Authentic Self
• The Cycle Continues
• Deadline Personality and Abuse Awareness
  • Will a Person With BPD Ever Change?
  • BPD's Immature Relational Ability
  • No Concept of The Existent Self
• Borderline Personality and Corruption "The Trip the light fantastic toe"
  • Egotistic Defense Mechanisms
  • Incapable of Adult Intimacy
• The Hurting of Borderline Relating
• What Non-Borderline'due south Need to Practise

Deadline Personality and Corruption

Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they take it, are more probable than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.

But what is backside the connexion between Deadline Personality and abuse?

The reality of this is such considering borderlines lack a known, consequent self, and they struggle with abandonment fears and abandonment depression that stem directly from a cardinal core wound of abandonment that arrests their emotional and psychological evolution in the very first few months of life.

This arrested development impacts near, if non all, areas of relating and leaves borderlines unable to interact in historic period-appropriate healthy ways.

Ways of relating that unfold in the present and that aren't layered with deep intra-psychic pain – hurting that is unresolved.

Intra-Psychic Pain Is the Root

The roots of abuse in BPD, particularly in intimate pregnant other relationships with Non-Borderlines have their genesis in the borderline's re-living of this deep intra-psychic hurting.

Hurting that is triggered through attempts to be emotionally intimate with someone else. The intimacy that non-personality-disordered people savor is stressful and overwhelming to the deadline.

It enlivens the borderline's worst nightmare – the unresolved pain of the core wound of abandonment.

It arouses all the maladaptive defenses of the borderline because he/she re-experiences the terror and panic of either his/her by feel of feeling annihilated or engulfed and/or his/her fear of beingness annihilated or engulfed, often alternately when trying to be close to someone i else.

Approach-Avoidance Conflict

This sets up an approach-avoidance conflict, a "get-away-closer" style of trying to relate that has its roots in the "I detest-you-don't-get out-me" struggle of the borderline who experiences any withdrawal of intense, shut, (albeit also threatening) intimacy, zipper or bond as a threat to his or her safety at all-time, and entire existence (psychologically) at worst.

Add together to this that when in that location is whatsoever distancing or suspension in the intensity and symbiotic-like closeness (if in fact closeness is ultimately achieved) the borderline then fears, and/or feels abandoned.

This disharmonize of fearing or re-experiencing anything versus engulfment and then the re-experiencing of the fearfulness of or bodily feelings of abandonment that the borderline experiences, oft subconsciously, in trying to be in human relationship to other, causes the deadline to be triggered back to his/her original core wound of abandonment feelings in such a manner as to trigger the key feelings of helplessness, loss of control, needs equaling survival, thwarted needs being akin with the death of the lost self.

This cyclone of unregulated emotion meeting with fear and distrust generates the original feelings of rage that this core wound of abandonment aroused in the showtime place.

A Wound of Abandonment Tin Feel Similar Psychological Decease

The core wound of abandonment, when one is very young and experiences it, is the experience of psychological death. It is intense and arouses the borderline to fight for survival while they experience the sheer terror of feeling like they might really just die or be killed by what they are feeling.

This heightened state of arousal is both psychological and biological – it is physiological. It is a strong drive to survive and rage is at its cadre.

Borderline Rage

Rage is the most fundamental feeling generated and the most protective defence force that a young infant can muster to try to take the caregiver return to once again provide some sense of existence for the babe.

Feelings and reactions of rage are experienced past those who get on to develop BPD so early in life that they precede cognitive and verbal development.

This is what makes borderline rage so primal, so intense, and in the instance of the borderline so raw and unmanageable in terms of often triggered dysregulated emotion of those with BPD.

Information technology is pain that has long-since been dissociated from and abandoned by the borderline. This abased pain of BPD is the ignition switch that needs only the hint or flicker of an emotional flame to ignite a combustible, all-besides-oft abusive rage similar no other.

This is what the borderline regresses to.

When the borderline is in a regressed and to varying degrees dissociated experience, the non-deadline partner is experienced by the deadline as that withdrawing or abandoning caretaker from the past that was needed for literal physical and psychological survival.

Issues That Trigger Rage

When the non-borderline partner, living, On The Other Side of BPD isn't focusing 100% of his or her attention on the borderline (particularly if you accept actually attained closeness) and there is any experienced or even perceived intermission in the symbiotic connection that enables the borderline to experience somewhat secure (like the not having to attend to a child, or go to the washroom or whatever simple thing) – fifty-fifty when stressed by the closeness – and already beginning to cycle to the fear of the loss of it – the deadline will often react from this cesspool of e'er-churning rage which is the protection for the very vulnerable and young abandoned hurting of the borderline. This ends in a lashing out past the deadline personality, abuse is ofttimes the stop issue.

Different Expressions of Borderline Rage

All rage is not expressed the aforementioned mode. All borderlines do not abuse in the same ways.

As you volition see in my side by side article, in that location are many unlike forms that the abuse generated by this narcissistic woundedness takes. Some borderlines rage, literally, they scream and yell and throw things or hit people.

While other borderlines (known equally placidity or "acting in" borderlines) may rage in such passive-ambitious ways that the non-borderline might not realize that the borderline is raging.

Rage is E'er Smouldering

This inherent free-floating, always-at-the-ready rage, if you will, is the root source of a lot of the varying types and styles of abuse that non-borderlines are bombarded with.

It can often be sudden and seem to come out of nowhere because the source of it is deep inside the psyche of the borderline.

Emotional and Psychological Arrest

Borderlines lack a known self. They have not been able to emotionally or psychologically mature beyond a very early phase of emotional developmental arrest.

An emotional/psychological arrest that takes place when the developing authentic self essentially experiences a death, is lost to the borderline and is and then supplanted past the false cocky.

Why Life Tin can Seem Constantly Painful

Life, for those with BPD, is, to say the least, i devastatingly painful experience of trying to live and exist in the absence of a known self in the fragmented pieces of the blurred experience of the here and now enmeshed with the by.

It is one perpetual separation-individuation crisis void of the big flick until and unless it tin be resolved.

Current Feelings Trigger Past Wounds

Borderlines do not larn how to cope with the feelings that they have in the here and at present, that trigger past intense unresolved feelings of the bodily loss of the psychological self.

Lack of Object Constancy

Borderlines lack the power to concord in any consistent or congruent way object constancy.

They feel relatedness as beingness as delicate as out of sight out of mind.

A bond that a non-borderline feels exists between him/herself and the borderline whether he/she is in the presence of the borderline or non is not something that the deadline can psychologically remember, trust, or believe.

Object continuance or whatever connexion or attachment that could be defined every bit "secure" is fleeting for the borderline who has not been able to develop object constancy.

The fleeting nature of this disability on the function of those with BPD to hold object constancy in any consequent or congruent way leaves those with BPD in a very painful place – literally betwixt a rock and a hard identify in what is the classic relational no-win of an untreated person with BPD.

Loss of Accurate Self

This loss of the authentic psychological self is re-experienced over and over once more and the fear of information technology and the fear of the hurting of information technology grows each and every time one is triggered back to it.

The Cycle Continues

This builds both anger and a continually proliferating inability to cope with it in any constructive way.

Annihilation brusk of intense symbiotic connection that is uninterrupted will once more send the deadline cycling back around the re-experiencing of everything associated with the core wound of abandonment.

As the deadline cycles back to this enraging and vulnerable – which isn't tolerable – place of abandonment depression (Masterson) and abandonment trauma and so too begins the apex of the likelihood of corruption.

Forth with abuse of all sorts, the result of this cycle is often a punishing talionic impulse acted on in the heat of the triggered-dissociated moment by the borderline in what are known as repetition compulsions.

Deadline Personality and Abuse Awareness

Near borderlines, until and unless they have substantial and successful therapy are non consciously aware of what I am describing here.

• Some are totally oblivious to their behavior.
• Some see their behavior every bit a means to an end and take lilliputian to no responsibility for it or any of its consequences.
• Others understand that they have acted poorly again, pissed someone off, have over again made existent the threat of and/or fearfulness abandonment and loss, simply they do not empathise why they've done it.
• Similarly, they have no clue how to stop it.
• Others projection it out onto the non-deadline and think that everything that has come up from them was really done to them by the non-borderline.

This can be a crazy-making experience for the not-borderline. This is of lilliputian consolation to the non-deadline, notwithstanding. It does not, at all, justify the abuse.

Will a Person With BPD Always Alter?

All the same, clearly I write most this here to say that if a borderline is not getting handling, and I mean for real, not just going through the motions type of treatment, there is no logical reason to even brainstorm to believe that the corruption that any borderline in your life is perpetrating upon y'all will terminate.

The very thing that you about want from your borderline (or wanted if you've left the relationship) in terms of what it ways to accept a human relationship and to relate was not ever even on the table because the borderline is non an emotionally/psychologically mature beingness.

BPD'southward Immature Relational Power

The borderline is still a very wounded and very immature child, emotionally, in terms of the ability or understanding of how to actually chronicle to others.

This is the instance because what borderlines do is not chronicle to others for who they are but as an extension of the deadline – and more to the point – as an extension of the parent (usually mother) that most failed them or past whom the borderline almost feels abandoned, for whatever reason(s).

No Concept of The Existent Self

The borderline has no idea who he/she really is. He/she frequently feels equally if he/she does not exist.

This is particularly true if the deadline does not have an other to projection all of his/her feelings out onto and an other from whom they and then crave the mirroring back of an identity of what is a painful lack of known self.

Deadline Personality and Corruption "The Dance"

In her book, The Narcissistic/Borderline Couple, Joan Lachkar, Ph.D., writes,

"For the borderline, the focus is primarily on bonding and attachment issues. Borderlines ofttimes form addictive love relationships (including normal dependency), they form parasitic relationships, and project their needs in hostile, threatening ways. Because their defenses and demands are excessive, borderlines tend to remain in the dance, rarely achieving their aims."

The dance that Lachkar refers to, in my past, for me, equally I wait back now many years into recovery when I was deadline, was one of seeking to re-invent, re-feel, re-practise, the ruptured relationship with my mother.

This wound acquired me to lose my accurate self to the defensive and manipulative abusive narcissistic defenses of the borderline false self in such a style that would in one case and for all satiate the developmental needs arrested at the time of my cadre wound of abandonment and teach me how to actually bond without feeling like it would impale me.

The dance, for me, was 1 of seeking to recreate and recapture that symbiotic relationship that I never had the chance to have with my mother, through others, in an end-justifies-the-means kind of style, that was, at times, very calumniating to others in my life, in the past, on my part.

That dance was a complicated punishing and unforgiving dance of codependency through which I sought to resolve what for years seemed similar the unresolvable woundedness that was the source of my rage and the abuse that I perpetrated against others in the name of trying to really be psychologically born which is necessary in order to get on and stay on the road to recovery.

Narcissistic Defense force Mechanisms

Most, if not all borderlines, accept, every bit a effect of this core wound of abandonment, a well-adult defense machinery of narcissism and also have varying degrees of narcissistic injury that manifests in the and through the faux self.

This egotistic injury or wound and its subsequent usage as a defense force mechanism forth with the narcissism seen in the faux cocky of those with BPD are not to be lumped together with Narcissistic Personality Disorder – they are non one and the same at all.

Incapable of Adult Intimacy

Borderlines who live from a fake self and who do not have an active and bully awareness of their own cadre wound of abandonment and their abandoned pain are not capable of age-appropriate adult intimacy or relating.

Information technology is from the cadre of this emotional dysfunction that borderlines end up abusing either themselves, others, or both. Non-borderlines, are often on the receiving end of many types of abuse.

The Pain of Borderline Relating

The very nature of borderline relating makes for a dysfunctional and toxic relational manner that non-borderlines will benefit greatly from learning more about and then that they can deepen their understanding of BPD and also take intendance of themselves.

Many not-borderlines come to realize that they desire and/or demand to break gratuitous from the puzzling and painful maze that is borderline relating. Relating that is more often than not abusive.

What Non-Borderline's Need to Do

If yous are a not-borderline and you are beingness abused by someone with BPD, you demand to accept care of yourself. Information technology won't do you or the borderline any good to deny or alibi his or her abuse and recollect that having a personality disorder justifies it in any way – it does not.

You cannot control what a person with BPD does, simply, y'all can make choices about what you will and what you lot will non live with. In one case you make that choice you need to identify and make known boundaries that are firmly explained and firmly enforced consistently.

Many non-borderlines do not realize that the sane choice for them if the borderline in their lives is non getting help and/or cannot take personal responsibility and stop and change any and all abusive beliefs and/or relating, is to go out, interruption free and take intendance of themselves.

© A.J. Mahari

petithiseeston.blogspot.com

Source: https://mhmatters.com/borderline-personality-and-abuse/